twentyfourhourlaundromat

see you tomorrow

2012-02-14T20:18:00.000-08:00

please
for the love of god
tell me that this is rock bottom
because i can't pretend to exist like this
for even one more day
all my cards are on the table
i call
despite knowing
that i've already lost
that this is everything i have left
and i look forward to losing
everything
when i wake up with nothing
i'll sigh
and know that i'm starting
all over again

losing it all
is all i have left

it's never felt so good to lose

tomorrow
it'll all be different

i won't bother to pick up any pieces

tomorrow

it's just me and the mirror
my eyes
will be honest for a change

to not send you roses

2012-02-14T07:40:00.000-08:00

i liked the idea of the delivery man
finding you at your new desk
it warmed my heart to imagine your smile
when you realized that the flowers were for you
i liked the idea of new coworker envy
but in keeping my word
to fall off the face of the earth
i think i paid more in cancellation fees
to not send you roses

i miss chippy's

2012-02-11T23:21:00.000-08:00

there are so many people
outside my front door
right now at 2:23am
whoever opened that poutinerie
is making a fucking killing
from my lack of sleep
good on them

leave your own salty solution signature on this page someday

2012-02-11T21:41:00.000-08:00

unless you are reading this
at the very precise moment
that someone you love
has turned their back on you
don't even bother
just dog ear the page
and place it back on the shelf
amongst more deserving writer neighbours
but come back to it someday
when the pain has reached your fingertips
to the point that you can't even
find the courage to turn the page
then you might be ready to stare at it
because nothing in the world
is as real as a broken heart
and we all know it

radio silence

2012-02-11T20:58:00.000-08:00

i think what i miss the most
is the incessant communication
all of the good mornings
the how's your day goings
all the i have something to tell yous
the i have a big surprise for yous
all the guess whats
the where are yous
all the what are you up tos
the i miss yous
all the i'm here for you, sweeties
the i can't believe it's still winters
all the goodnights
the i love yous

without it
i could die in my room tonight
and nobody would know
until my roommates
became bothered by the smell
when you would have known
in just a matter of minutes
we were that committed
to our version
of tin telephone cans
god, i miss it

mush

2012-02-11T14:10:00.000-08:00

alaska is the only state
that can be typed
on one row of keys

if new york city
had the same
population density
as alaska
only sixteen people
would be living in manhattan

the state of rhode island
could fit into alaska
425 times

they actually have a law
that forbids the act of
tying pet dogs
to the roof
of their cars

oh, alaska
please say aint so

when it rains, it pokes holes in me with knives

2012-02-11T11:28:00.000-08:00

when it rains
it really does pour
i spent the night with friends
of the very highest calibre
they know that i'm down and out
and they do everything they can
to put a smile on my face
god bless their hearts
i woke up in their guest bedroom
to the smell of fresh coffee
and requests for swiss chalet
hangover remedies to be delivered
we watched a comedy together
and even i managed to laugh some
god bless their massive hearts
always weary to not overstay my welcome
i thanked them and headed to the subway
when i reached my apartment
and put the key in the lock
a profound sadness came over me
i felt overwhelmingly alone
none of my roommates were home
but the backdoor was wide open
there was snow covering the kitchen floor
the house was so cold that i could see my breath
the kitchen faucet had an icicle hanging from it
i wrapped a blanket around my body
and sat down on my bed to read my email
the girl that i love more than life itself
had written to tell me that she didn't want to hear from me
i cried until there were icicles beneath my eyes
now i'm just laying on my bed and waiting
and willing the roof to cave in on me
but i know it'll most likely just spring a leak

damara

2012-02-03T09:18:00.000-08:00

staring down another blank page
in a notebook that's seen better months
i'm in one of the better decorated bars
this side of the lit up city
the food coming from the kitchen
looks and smells so very wonderful
but i've simply no stomach for it
the art on the walls is always vibrant
and never overstays its welcome
so there's always something new
to look at between paragraphs
in this ladies and gentlemen's club
that caters to happy-go-lucky insomniacs
i know one of the bartenders some
she's the only work of art
that ever stays put
i'm thankful of that

erase me already

2012-02-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

please know that i am trying
to get you out of my thoughts
but it is proving to be be impossible
i'm trying to respect your wishes
but i'm bound to slip up from time to time
i can't explain how bad this is for me
my body literally aches for you
waking up alone, waking up without you
is a terrible way to start the day
then i spend the rest of the it
talking myself out of
all the wonderful and creative ways
i'm coming up with to try to get you back
i hope you never have to experience this, sweetie
it has me thinking a lot about the concepts
explored in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
i'm in a lose/lose situation
i know i need to respect your wishes
and fall off the face of the earth
but at the same time
it's so completely unnatural
to not chase after your dreams
it all feels so very wrong

a sheer thing

2012-02-02T11:14:00.000-08:00

we were bored
out of our minds
once upon a time
luckily for us
some of the most
beautiful moments
are born out of boredom
i prompted you to your feet
and removed all of your clothing
you were giggling
and asking me what i was doing
i said, never you mind
that it was a surprise
you giggled some more
and said that you were cold
i said, not to worry
that i had a plan to dress you
laughing at my peculiarity
you said, but you just undressed me
i said, i know, silly
so that i can dress you in a different outfit
you sighed and played along
for my benefit
i said, excuse me for a moment
and retreated to the kitchen
i came back with saran wrap in hand
you giggled and said nothing
i said, don't move a muscle
i started high on your thighs
you giggled when the plastic touched your skin
and said, what do you think you're doing, mister?
i smiled and said, shhh, i'm working
i circled you ten times
you giggled with each pass
i stopped just above your nipples
gently, i used the razored edge
to separate you from the box
i stood back and said, tada!
now that's a sight for sore eyes
i dressed you in a most decadent
translucent cocktail dress
we giggled in unison
and together
we looked forward
to getting you out of it

conspicuous and fluttering flight

2012-01-30T19:40:00.000-08:00

things have a way of catching up
and then disappearing all together
it's kind of like watching a really good film
just when you're completely immersed in the characters
and it feels as though it's about halfway through
the credits start to trickle down the screen
and you're left wondering what would have come next
where did all the beautiful cinematography go?
where did all that lovely scenery escape to?
did the heroine kiss me after all?
did i save her in the end?
and suddenly it's drafty and cold
the panic begins to set in and unnerve your soul
suddenly you are caught up in the constant act of unravelling
like a caterpillar's sixteen steps resulting in the fraying
of everything that it casually touches and passes by
inch after painfully slow inch

spin

2012-01-29T22:37:00.000-08:00

we put a new spin
on the act on breaking-up
one that i'm especially proud
of having conceived of
we agreed that after all three
beautiful years of you and me
that we owed it to ourselves
not to let our last memory
be such an entirely sad one
so we met again with one rule
that for one night only
there would be no rules
we would embody all that
we had come to love about each other
so that's exactly what we did
we started out with japanese
eating across from each other on my bedspread
something like chopstick foreplay
we devoured courses of each others' eyes
prolonging the inevitable as long as we could
our tongues met for the very first and last time
it was nothing short of chemical magic
i removed your bra to discover vegas nipple tassels
and undressed you like a puzzle of a thousand pieces
i teased your swollen lips
and kissed your jet black fabric
i used scissors to make a precise cut
at the equator of your panties
and exposed your rare delicacy
i breathed your scent and savored it
tracing tiny circles around your rosebud
and feeling for its effect
we united in thunderous rhythms
and loved like only lovers
meant to last
could even attempt
we succumbed to each others' every last desire
and made it last for hours
i can still still taste your honey on my lips

prolonged exposure

2012-01-29T21:46:00.000-08:00

the key to being a good lover
is less about having a bag of tricks
up your sleeveless arm
and more about spontaneity
it's miles away from locker room anecdotes
and much closer to the ability to perceive
the subtle signs she will unknowingly reveal
it's about listening and feeling
and sensing and searching
it's about selflessness
and intuitiveness
it's about creativity
and togetherness
a good lover will blow your mind
time and time again
if only you can reach in
and find a way to connect with hers
great lovers don't need instruction
they wear each other in

firehouse 99

2012-01-27T19:21:00.000-08:00

i witnessed
my little brother
officially become
a firefighter today
i can't explain
how proud i am of him
words just won't do it justice
the good folks in markham
can sleep a little sounder tonight
thanks to the new kid in firehouse 99
i love you, brother

a southpaw's grammer

2012-01-24T19:01:00.000-08:00

my dear friend, michael
keeps me in songs
wraps me in melodies
insulates me in reverb
and always says goodnight
through my headphones

春節

2012-01-23T22:21:00.000-08:00

january twenty-third
six o'clock
ante meridiem
i awake
eighteen floors high
a whole year older
none the wiser
and lower than ever
with a kink in my neck
that could rival
that of the
intermediate egret
writhing in pain
i can only laugh
at the irony
on this balcony
i let cold rain
streak down my cheeks
trying to light a cigarette
i discover that
both of my lighters
can't be bothered
it's monday
it's pouring
it's my my thirty-first birthday
writhing in pain
i can only laugh
at the irony
eighteen floors up
and lower than ever before
on the day of the chinese new year

discerning scents

2012-01-19T20:18:00.000-08:00

i wish i could have
captured your scent
bottled it
and taken it with me
everywhere that i went

lester's got bangs, baby

2012-01-18T00:41:00.000-08:00

a heavy dose
of the human league
darvon, valium and nyquil
will leave a typewriter
lonely and uninspired

every day is like monday

2012-01-16T19:59:00.000-08:00

today is
blue monday
they say
it truly is
the saddest
day
of the year
according
to experts
it falls on
the third monday
that follows
christmas
each and every year
this fine one
lands on
january sixteenth
be it
post holiday debt
unrealized resolutions
veiled sunlight
or the veil
you'll never
get the chance
to see
your lover wear
down the aisle
today is
blue monday
they say
it truly is
the saddest
day
of the year

not for publication

2012-01-16T19:57:00.000-08:00

regarding this coming saturday
here's to one last kick at the can
all smiles and held hands
here's to us
even at the end

what goes around comes out your eyes

2012-01-16T18:51:00.000-08:00

tears like these
refuse
to stop on command
not for anything in the world
so you spend your entire day
holding them back
fitting in
playing nice
doing your job
and acting as normal
as you possibly can
it's such an exhausting routine
it takes every ounce of your energy
to fight for breath
to stay afloat
you can actually pull muscles
from just trying to keep it together
and now that you're finally home
and the door is shut behind you
tears like these
refuse to stop falling
they won't rest
until seventy percent of you
has wasted away
the last drop can be painful
half water and half dirt
tears like these
are patient observers
waiting for you to thirst again
and they know you will
because you don't have a choice
tears like these
thrive on knowing
that you have to
get up
and do it
all over again
and again
and again

bleed

2012-01-15T10:38:00.000-08:00

every time i promise myself
that i won't reach out to you
i fail so very miserably
it's so hard
to keep it all to myself
i can't see a beautiful sight
without wanting to show it to you
i can't hear a great song
without wanting to play it for you
i can't read the perfect line
without wanting to recite it to you
i can't keep my half from you
because my other half is you

glossed over me

2012-01-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

you're the anaphora
i'm the ambiance
you are the double entendre
i am the elegy
you're the flash fiction
i'm the flat fee
you are the guidelines
i am the ghostwriter
you're the hyperbole
i'm the hook
you are the kicker
i am the kill fee
you're the myth
i'm the ode
you are the parable
i am the paradox
you're the rejection slip
i'm the satire
you are the damsel
i am the distressed

the abc's of religious intolerance

2012-01-14T20:12:00.000-08:00

afghanistan
bosnia
côte d'ivoire
cyprus
east timor
indonesia, province of ambon
indonesia, province of halmahera
iraq
kashmir
kosovo
kurdistan
macedonia
middle east
nigeria
northern ireland
pakistan
philippines
russia, chechnya
somalia
south africa
sri lanka
sudan
thailand
tibet
uganda
us

if it can't begin with us,
how can we possibly expect
these war torn-countries
to follow suit?

no reply

2012-01-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

a cry for help
that falls on deaf ears
is a waste of one's last breath

american beauty tips

2012-01-13T19:25:00.000-08:00

like lester burnham
this is the highlight of my day
jerking off
without any direction from sam mendes
without so much as a boom operator
in a shower
not worthy of kevin spacey
he hopes
it's not all downhill from here
but i know better
this slope is just beginning to get slippery

bust

2012-01-11T08:33:00.000-08:00

like a blackjack dealer
on his day off
i just don't wanna deal

current obsession: anagrams

2012-01-10T20:12:00.000-08:00

poetry = yet pro
michael = claim he
crumpton: cunt romp
jack daniels = jack denials
vote ford = voted for (not me, i swear)
trustworthy: hurt ow tryst
orgasm = arms go
best friends = bender fists
clint eastwood = old west action
george bush junior = go bush injure gore
cocaine = oceanic
north america = macho terrain
dormitory = dirty room
a decimal point = i’m a dot in place
elvis = lives
eleven plus two = twelve plus one
butterfly = flutter by
the eyes = they see
the morse code = here come dots
sad poems = pads some
stone roses = resets soon
morrissey = semi sorry
the country side = no city dust here
conversation = voices rant on
jim morrison = mr. mojo risin'

charlière

2012-01-10T03:39:00.000-08:00

god gave us helium
to prepare us for women
he only works
in mysterious ways
if you refuse
to see the simplicity
in his lessons
take helium for example
swallowed by a plain old balloon
it defies gravity
and you learn pretty quickly
to hold onto it for dear life
an infatuation we all develop
as tiny little children
and we refuse to let go
long after we've grown out of balloons
now that i'm a little older
i see god at work at every country fair
and every time i see a child
cry over a balloon that got away
i see a hundred men
keeping their tears to themselves
thinking just you wait
you little bastard
this is only just the beginning

fly your panties flag

2012-01-09T22:17:00.000-08:00

in that hostel in praha
battered by the rain
we threw our privacy to the puddles
and watched our reflections
bend and bleed and blur
doused in the setting sun
in those bricks older than all of us
eroded by a world war
we favoured anything adoaptorless
and postcards stamped but pictureless
keep these untouched churches
to yourself, we thought
we'll have our cameras
stolen in sexy berlin subway cars
just to preserve that light
creeping up under the floorboards
because some things
should never be captured
ever

paint him blacklisted

2012-01-09T21:31:00.000-08:00

maybe it's just me
but even if keith fucking richards himself
wanted me to play
in his hypothetical new band
i'd have to insist on a confidentiality clause
and i'd certainly never show him my penis

that being said, i refuse to ever get married
without "wild horses" being the song that's played
for my mine and my baby's first dance

it hardly seems fair

2012-01-09T20:03:00.000-08:00

never date a girl with cats
unless you're into being broken up with
three times in a single night
one day you wake up
with cuddling options
and the next
you wake up alone
still just as covered in cat hair

wedding wine

2012-01-09T19:44:00.000-08:00

i can't find you in my day-to-day
and you're certainly not
in the bottom of this bottle
believe me, i've checked
again and again
nope - not you
just wedding wine
and bits of cork
but not even real cork
because the goddamn cork trees
had to go and die or something
just like you and i
fuck it - just to make sure
i'll take one last look
wine not?

part & parcel

2012-01-06T20:37:00.000-08:00

the cold gets in
into our bones
into our minds
and into our smiles
listlessness ensues
frigid somnolence
slows our hearts
deprives us of light
and wears us away
until we are at each other
hands clutching throats
anything to stay warm
any port in a storm
part & parcel warmth
when we dream together
we dream in summer
teeming under blankets
i'd rather freeze this winter
than hibernate beside another
not any port in a storm
just you
just us
part & parcel
at the mercy of a space heater
mr. & mrs. fuss

to carve a mocking word

2011-05-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

do you know what's wrong with our generation?
we don't carve big hearts into the bellies of big oaks
like our parents and grandparents did before us
we never painstakingly etch-out the initials of our lovers
is it because pocket knives no longer represent innocent boyhood revelry?
(see also: boxcutter terrorism)
or is it because we've witnessed too many of our childhood trees disappear
and we just can't be bothered anymore?

a child's first matinee

2011-05-03T17:46:00.000-07:00

a looming theatre before his eyes
gaze fixed upon a velvet sea of red
still but a child entranced by its aisles
so in awe of it all, let it be said
booming voices fill the air with clamour
curtains rise to reveal a broad new world
his senses 'roused by all of the glamour
from lips to audience; tongues unfurled
villains and heroes and lovers' quarrels
his heart skips a beat; his breath surrenders
cruel ironies rest upon morals
captivated by stellar pretenders
that theatre taught him about romance
he'll never forget the casts performance

vengence

2011-05-01T20:25:00.000-07:00

george bush jr.
the american public
the twin towers
drones
satellite footage
the CIA
pakastani intelligence

let's face it
osama bin laden
might be history's
greatest hide 'n go seek player
part of me hopes they took their time
the other part wonders what drove him to such extremes?

le petit castor

2011-04-30T22:45:00.000-07:00

i'm on your
fire escape
the air is warm
and inviting
you are dreaming
sound asleep
le petit castor
plays their music
ever so loudly
i listen to drunkenly
fun girls
try to sing
take on me, take me on
i'll be gone
in a day or two
they are
so wonderfully
out of key
most people
usually are
with that one
i probably will
be gone
in a day or two
but only if you ask
me to be
you look so beautiful
finding dreams

love must be answered if it is to prosper

2011-04-27T16:26:00.001-07:00

dearest anteros,

it is with great desperation that i pen this letter to you. my repeated pleas to eros have fallen on deaf ears. it is your arrows of lead that i now pledge my dying allegiance to. my heart is tragically nearing its last beat and i find myself strangely comforted by such a discovery. the world as i know it is imploding upon me and i can no longer breathe in her absence. oh grace our world with your plumed wings, great avenger of unrequited love. bestow upon me this gift that i desire with such dire conviction and i will flood her heart with a love unrivaled in this lifetime.

very sincerely,

michael

my drug of choice

2011-04-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

she is a breath
of fresh air
so much so in fact
that if a team of scientists
were to get their latexed hands on her
she'd likely be synthesized into
the newest ant-depressant craze

fidelity and other myths

2011-04-24T21:29:00.000-07:00

he no longer believes in love
it comes and it goes
like the latest craze
like new cellular phones
everybody's down for an upgrade
trade-ins always welcomed
nothing is sacred
everything is non-binding
love is just another lonely noun
no longer worth fighting for
it's all there in the cold legality of it
the larger print that is used
in conjunction with fine print
is ingenuously used by the merchant
in effect to deceive the consumer
into believing the offer is more
advantageous than it really is
via a legal technicality
which requires full disclosure
of all (even unfavorable) terms
or conditions, but does not specify
the manner (size, typeface, colouring, etc.)
of disclosure
he'll always be her friend
really, he will
but he'll never be anyone's lover again
her fifteen minutes of fame
was killing the beat of a poet
who no longer believes in love
and what else is there?
especially for a poet
whose words have been made a mockery of

adelaide

2011-04-20T12:57:00.001-07:00

i'm starting to feel
like just maybe
you're no longer
deserving
of all the ways
that i dream up
to make you feel
immensely special
all the time
you most certainly
deserve
to be made
to feel
that way
every moment
of every day
but maybe
someone else
should
make it happen
because i'm still
dreaming up
new and inventive ways
to make you feel
insanely special
only you're not around
to accept them
i miss your
expressions
of surprise
and genuine
appreciation
my day
is so much emptier
when i can't
make you feel
satiably special
in my own kind of way

aphorism

2011-04-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

i was an atheist for a period
when i was younger
it was more black & white then
there simply was no god
i was pretty convinced
then i heard a line in a film
that resonated within me
there are no atheists in fox holes
even with a memory
you wouldn't entrust a locker combo to
that line has always stuck with me
it helped shape the agnostic views
i carry around with me today
i hadn't prayed since i was a child
but we know and love someone
who's recently been dealt
one of life's fucked up curve balls
and it breaks our hearts
to learn that she is going through this
religion is very important to you
perhaps you've even prayed for me once or twice?
so i figured that it was a worthy cause
to try and say a prayer for our loved one
it certainly could not have hurt anyone
and so last night
for the first time since i was a child
i knelt beside my bed
closed my eyes
clasped my hands
and bowed my head
i kept an open mind and gave it my very best for her
what i said stays between myself and a god that may or may not exist

the vending scene

2011-04-18T17:24:00.000-07:00

she deposits
just enough
into my
coin aperture
to keep me
in service
but
infrequently
enough
to keep me
out of photos
idle i stand
spilling out
my contents
for her
to absorb
with little-
to-no
investment
my return
is minimal
she deposits
just enough
to keep me

gropeon (95% of clothes off)

2011-04-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

i can actually
taste you
from memory
seriously
i've loved
every chapter
of our
sexual history
honestly
I refuse
to believe
that we're through
learning
from each other
not so clandestinely
we have
new experiences
not yet realized
sincerely
over think
a cover letter
don't
over think
this
us
naked
and
educating
beyond the classroom
behind mostly closed curtains
we kind of like
that someone might see in

don't judge a single by its cover

2011-04-16T18:16:00.000-07:00

i went to sonic boom
three times today
all three times i made purchases
the past couple of years
i've done the entire circuit
of independent record stores in the city
but it poured and i have a faltering knee
i spent about half as much today
as i did a year ago
i just can't help but love the exclusivity
i found a deerhunter seven inch
limited to 800 copies worldwide
the only reason it was still there
on my third visit of the day
was because it wasn't clearly labeled
nowhere on the cover does it say deerhunter
it just says the song title memory boy
i had it in my hands the first time around
and like so many others
i passed it by
after doing some research
i panicked and ran back to the store
they still had several passed over copies
so many people are going to kick themselves
that was such a good find
i might even open it tonight
and take a needle to it

steal all my records screw all my friends

2011-04-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

it's record store day
i didn't get the two
must haves
on my wish list
as far as i know
no one in this particular city did
we split up to cover more ground
the ship sank before it ever sailed
radiohead released a twelve inch
limited to 2000 copies
you had to be in the uk
to have a bloody chance in hell
ryan adams released a double seven inch
orange and yellow vinyl
limited to 2500 copies
not a single one found its way to toronto
i'm going to light a candle
and listen to the records i did get
with a smile on my face
and the rain coming through the ceiling

while you were sleeping

2011-04-14T19:05:00.000-07:00

it really did
break my heart
when i
packed
you a lunch
complete
with a
hiiden note
and you
failed to
ever mention it

charisma

2011-04-14T12:03:00.000-07:00

the sun is shining
on our big city today
you received
some good news
this morning
you telephoned to tell me
it made both of us smile
this office is stagnant
the stairwell creeks with your ghost
it feels so sedated
without your energy
your charisma
in bloom plays on the radio
it feels so appropriate
with the weather and what not
i'm impressed with the radio man
he's playing two in a row by nirvana
this time it's about a girl
the best ones always are

pitter patter

2011-04-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

it is
probably
going to rain
again
but our parade
probably
won't mind
our parade
probably
didn't even intend
on the sun to shine
so things are looking up
with closed eyes
these drops are unapologetic
someone could really poke an eye out

101

2011-04-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

some people just don't click
chemistry is not a science
or at least not an exact one
at least i think anyways
i never really studied it
so what would i know?
i'm just thinking out loud

a brief stop over in codex, AZ

2011-04-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

the heaviest
most cathartic
piano chords
march atop the beat
of a working heart
white lightning flourishes
trickle over tin roof weighted keys
and the softest of howls
preceding a voice so draining
it bleeds both gloom and hope
all in the same soprano breath
expelling poetic imagery
for us to fully absorb
forming words that speak of
the water being clear and innocent
just maybe this could be our song after all?

you make it so easy

2011-04-13T14:53:00.000-07:00

there are volumes
of unwritten poetry
in every moment
that we share
it's sometimes dizzying
with so many words
swirling in circles
dancing around my head
i want to reach out
and grab kiss
by the serif
place it on your lips
and swallow it

frenzy

2011-04-13T14:51:00.000-07:00

lose-your-breath
stop-your-heart
body-succumbing
mind-blowing sex
always feels the best
with the perfect balance
of dirtiness and tenderness

something worth mending

2011-04-13T14:49:00.000-07:00

we can mend
we should maybe try
the way we laugh
how we can cry
the way we care
how we can surrender
the way we fit
how we can remember
our connection
is something worth mending

i wrapped it myself

2011-04-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

i made you something
in the style of a ransom note
441 painstaking little letters later...
you have something to show for it
on a canvas meant for a wall
but it'll gladly settle for under your bed
because some things
are worth seeing through
to the very end
if i could do it all over again
i'd trade in my stubby fingers and right-handed scissors
for some shiny tweezers and a razor sharp razor blade
just like they use in the movies
binding separation was written
555 days ago
i wrote it for you
13,320 hours ago
i bled it out
799,200 minutes ago
and i still mean every last word of it
i really do
47,952,000 seconds ago
when it still made sense
in the present tense
to both of us
maybe someday some of it will be available in print
maybe even in an indigo aisle
where pretty girls go to feel good lost

here's to reinvention, charlie...

oh there you are, rooftop. where have you been all my winter?

2011-04-09T10:36:00.001-07:00

the sunshine feels so good on my face
this day is perfect for holding hands

shout i need somebody

2011-04-08T23:35:00.000-07:00

i'm not sure what i hate more
daytime or nighttime
perhaps they're equally insufferable

regret-me-nots

2011-04-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

the most sinking feeling
there is to be felt
is looking into your lover's eyes
only to find regret
nothing prepares you for that
it makes you feel cheap
because that look makes you feel
like you've made her feel cheap
when nothing could be further from the truth
it's more vicious
than cruel words
in a screaming match
it cuts you in half
minces you and laughs
looking into your lover's eyes
only to find
all kinds of regret

our objective

2011-04-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

i faced that mean old subway
thinking of what you said
the entire way
on both trains
you've given me the courage
to fight my way through this
i'm not so scared of everything
i'd be lying if i didn't admit
to leaving a few more tears
on these beaten keys
but i promise you
that there's nothing
but feel good songs
coming through the speakers
and sunlight from the window
i'll never be able to repay you
for being there for me last night
but i'm sure as hell going to try
every minute that you give
means the world

bedroom confession

2011-04-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

i smoke way too many cigarettes
and i don't want to smoke at all anymore
but i'm in pretty deep this time
so i thought i could use some help
my doctor prescribed champix
the pharmacist explained it
i started taking them on thursday
by sunday my world collapsed
i had already been suffering
from unrequited love
i had already been dealing
with post-ativan anxiety
the depression is always there with me
i've learned to cope with it mostly
but sunday my world collapsed
everything bad has been magnified
by a thousand times or more
i can't sleep for more than two hours at a time
last night i had vivid dreams and nightmares
that are still haunting me today
i'll never repeat them to anybody
i can barely see through the tears to write this
i should have been at work an hour ago
i'm sick to my stomach and can't keep anything down
i'm weak from not eating and tired from dreaming
i just read the fine print in the fancy champix packaging
and i'm flushing every last fucking one of them
i'm going to try to work today
and try to smile for friends
which will be only half
as bad as being alone tonight
caught in a strange and terrifying hell
the likes of which i've never known
i'm scared
i'm shaking
i'm terrified

nasolacrimal

2011-04-05T08:22:00.000-07:00

the way
you look
at me
makes me
so lonely
think of
the last
leaf
on the
big oak
tree
in autumn
waiting
to fall
to be
with
the others
think of
winter
without
spring
think of
tasting
tears
nightly
think of
a bed
too big
for one
think of
tear ducts
with
nothing
left to
offer
think of
comes around
without
goes around

a fantasy without an ass that you could bounce a quater off of

2011-04-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

i'm only good at selling
and nothing much else
i'm so good in fact
that pretty soon
i'll talk the night watchman
of a tall toronto building
into believing
that i belong
that i'm legit
in my best
blue-collared blues
and leather tool belt
with a rooftop access pass
i'll elevator up
to the highest story
that
that high rise
has to offer
a desperate man
i hate heights
they terrify me
but i'd rather soar
than hold up the subway
i used to commute
i hate delays
i know you do too
we'll both be better off
i'll think of you
with the few seconds
i don't have left

i'm sending flowers

2011-04-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

because it's a rainy monday
and because it's not valentines day
because you are my sweetheart
and because it's not the same without you

best friends for keeps

2011-03-20T22:23:00.000-07:00

this will be my last entry
i've shared too much already

la fin du monde

2011-03-18T00:38:00.000-07:00

i'll
never
get sick of hearing the words
do anything you want to me

96

2011-03-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

we're best friends
positioned at opposite ends
grabbing ankles
or spreading cheeks
is optional of course
it's what's in the middle
that really counts

(it's said that such a position can be awkward for partners of varying heights)

i call bullshit

i call commence

GOODNESS

MMM

a brief history of wasted time

2011-03-16T20:09:00.000-07:00

saturday night at lee's palace
with kevin
when we walked in
liked we owned
the place
and forgot to pay
like kings
a random girl said
you have such cool hair
i said
thanks, i haven't heard that one before
she said
what?
what do you mean?
i said
you're pick-up line
it's unique
(wink)
she said
fuck you
i turned to the bartender and said
another 50!
please

hop, skip and a jumbo jet

2011-03-16T19:46:00.000-07:00

she is 8403 nautical miles away from me
on a boat in the middle of the sea
with her best friends in the world
living the way it should always be
that's 9670 miles or 15,562 kilometers
away from me
at sea
when
even just one inch
between us when we sleep
is far too much for me
just ask her
go ahead
she's spent enough nights
pinned up against the wall
to concede
that i need her more than close

to image nuclei of atoms inside the body of romantic rights

2011-03-14T21:16:00.000-07:00

i've been around (some)
i've heard it all (mostly)
and let me tell you (with a grain of salt)
toronto western hospital
has an MRI machine
that's louder than
toronto's death from above
any day of the week

sure
there's less melody
but more conclusive results
(let's hope)

to be
or not to be
invasive surgery?

that is the black history month question

either way
i miss DFA1979
almost more
than any practicality
my right knee
ever
served

you're a woman, i'm in an MRI machine

wearing the tokyo skyline on your face

2011-03-14T00:44:00.000-07:00

if i could be anywhere
in the world right now
i'd be in the 52nd minute
of lost in translation
in the back seat of a taxi cab
i'd be a sleepy bill murray
and you'd be scarlett johansson
wearing the tokyo skyline on your face
we'd let sometimes
by my bloody valentine
take us the rest of the way
and i'd carry you to your room
slipping off your shoes
erasing the tokyo skyline from my face

adjacent balustrades

2011-03-09T20:50:00.000-08:00

settled into our alcove
high above the sounds of revelry
exploring each other's anatomy
synched with the street lights
green red yellow gadgetry
our tongues write calligraphy
on pinkish fleshy upholstery
we tear all your hosiery
inappropriately
to tatters
proportionately
measured
by our all
enveloping
orgasms
we swallow the world

in a word: poetry

broken edison cylinder

2011-03-09T20:10:00.000-08:00

daydreaming
of a phonograph
from 1877
with paraffin paper
strong enough
to reach you
in 2011

daydreaming
of a phonograph
from 1877
with paraffin paper
strong enough
to suck out
a response
from your otherwise
silent diaphragm

lovefuck

2011-03-09T19:43:00.000-08:00

guttural pornography
starring me
and open mouths
fitting snug
and fusing us
starring her
guttural pornography
starring us
and open mouths

it would take a thousand pianos
a thousand years
to build a crescendo
even somewhat comparable
to this
and open mouths
to us
fitting snug

my little lovefuck

amen

2011-03-03T20:22:00.000-08:00

when i was a young boy
i remember thinking
that girls were so neat
i wasn't sure what cooties were
but i knew even then
that i wanted some

alpha bravo charlie

2011-03-01T23:43:00.000-08:00

this is my wingspan.

it's wide enough
to fully encompass
you.

it has
and it will again.

delicious.

this is my wingspan.

it reaches out
to fully envelop
you.

it did
and it shall again.

ambrosial.

when you touch down
i'm going to show you
the uncharted maps
of our atlases
at last.
i promise
you
that.

i'm going to reach for inches
that we knew were there
but we never really found.

this is my wingspan.

it'll devour your tiny frame.
it'll suck your breath
and pull you in.

as soon as
you touch down.

we'll touch everything.

mouthwatering

the week's end

2011-02-27T21:35:00.001-08:00

friday night i watched a band play at a bar
they really shook the place
i even danced around some
and was happy to bump into old friends
even if they were just stagnant acquaintances
at best
nothing is really new with them
i was happy to report the same of myself
saturday night i slept on the most unforgiving couch
i tossed and tuned unremittingly
ad nauseam
just praying for the springs to impale me
hoping so perilously
sunday night i went to a minor hockey game
with my father
it was exactly what i needed

just dragonflies fantasize

2011-02-24T12:15:00.000-08:00

if i close my eyes really tight

i can almost see the shore
i can almost hear the breeze
i can almost feel your sandy toes
touching mine

if i close my eyes really tight
and open my mind really wide

i can almost see the sea
i can almost hear the waves
i can almost feel my racing heart
touching yours

if i close my eyes really tight
and open my mind really wide
and push out all the car alarms and sirens

i can see your smile
i can hear your voice
i can feel your racing heart
exploding mine

i can feel my sandy toes
touching yours

who cares

2011-02-10T22:20:00.000-08:00

here's what i see:
this stupid screen
this wretched cursor
this so called technology
right in front of me
for all to see
and an almost empty bottle
that i drank
solely
to help inspire me
to help
get it out of me
finally

gone is the romance
of the blank white page
that constant reminder
that you've yet to
write a single thing
and the crumpled disregards
surrounding me
strewn about
everywhere but inside
the waste paper basket
that we used to see
in movies about writers
like fante, see...
it's too damn easy
now
just to find something
that stimulates
in a new window
control plus shift plus w

what a fucking mess we've made

really

the prosecutor

2010-12-15T11:04:00.000-08:00

we took polygraphs
we didn't lie
we just proved inconclusive
we told the truth
to men in suits
who wore the same stone cold faces
we were comparable
in our results
the lines filled up the pages
like w's joined at the hips
we caused investigative headaches

you aren't so guilty anymore
you're just a bunch of innocents
rounded up before the daily's deadline
checked off on the prosecutor's list
just in time for the morning's election speeches
he won by landslide

we were good cop'd
we didn't flinch
the bad cops marched their way in
we were photographed
fingerprinted
told of the right we had not to say shit
we kept our heads
we played it cool
we asked could we get some some cigarettes?
we drank their sludge
from polystyrene cups
and promised to appear in the new year

you aren't so guilty anymore
you're just a bunch of innocents
rounded up before the daily's deadline
checked off on the prosecutor's list
just in time for the morning's election speeches
he won by landslide

everybody loves a man
who's tough on crime
all the time

they want to our bodies hanged
in the city's square
for the crowd to share

only i never did no crime
but i hang tonight

(cue the harmonica)

qu ni sheng er kuai le

2010-12-08T21:41:00.000-08:00

you are asleep
soundly i presume
under the sheets
waiting for me
and i'd have liked
to come earlier
but i needed
my incognito
back door entry
to go unheard
how else could i sneak in a charlie brown christmas tree?
without a stir
i hope you like your gifts
i hope you can excuse my wrapping
i hope their bellies tantalize
your 7/4 shoreline
we share our every fantasy
and we put them into practice
we share the forces we create
we succumb
lights camera action

wakey wakey

2010-11-17T19:36:00.001-08:00

i sleep beside a go-getter
which means i often wake up alone
but sometimes when i wake
in the middle of the night
she's still there beside me
i'd liken it to listening
to a really great song
one that you never want to end
and when the chorus peaks
and you're expecting the outro
you realize
the second verse has only just begun

hands

2010-11-17T11:03:00.001-08:00

if you took someone else's
masterpiece fiction novel
and you were able to erase it
from everybody's memory
and you copied it word for word
on your remington typewriter
and you typed your own name
on the new first draft manuscript
and you submitted it
to one of the big publishing houses
and they ate it up because how could they not?
and they signed you to a wonderful book deal
and they assigned you to a wonderful editor
and this wonderful editor knew
that this was your very first novel
and being that this was your very first submission
and that he or she has been editing novels
for twenty years & change
and therefore knows a thing or two more
about what works and what doesn't
and that he or she must hack it into a thousand pieces
to compensate for your lack of experience
it makes you wonder just how differently that book would read
it makes you wonder how many writers may have gotten it right
the first time around?

06.30.56

2010-11-16T07:47:00.000-08:00

you sailed through the horizon
putting 1880 miles between us
soon to descend upon a sprawling canyon
carved out by the colorado river's erosion
i'll follow the path of an ancient boom excavator
underground into the subway tunnel
carved out and braced for stabilization
in six days and nine hours or so
we'll come up for air
together again on the surface
this time for a happy ending collision

transoceanic

2010-11-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

all these little reminders. laying everywhere.
pieces of you. all over. stretched. a cutting room floor.
a cochophonous ringing. memories filed. recycled. hellbent.
constructed butterflies ricochet inside my battered abdomen.
your mouth. it plays the radio. your thighs on every station.

i am your pamphleteer

2010-11-02T08:41:00.000-07:00

we are left
when we are leaving
we are weaker than
a sinking feeling

fall where they may

2010-10-21T18:40:00.000-07:00

at mid-day's solemn stillness, i settle upon a far reaching oak,
with which to rest against my head, under a heavy setting sun.
between trembling leaves, downward rays happen upon my face
in ever-changing fragments, tingling the pores with warmth
and dancing indian summer glow; an orange and blinding opiate white.

i, widening my unfocused eyes, allow words to bend and blur and burn.
an unassuming and stirring rarefaction, shy of any such intention,
slumped over the dog-eared pages of a dusty borrowed book, open before me.
i, gazing upon shards of brilliant light so curiously bestowed at once; auras emitted.
with the picking up of a rustling breeze, loosening my grip, i allow the pages to be freed.

at mid-day's fading stillness, nicely settled abut a far reaching oak,
i watch as wiry pages implode, passing over each other in rapid succession,
it'll be the cheeky breeze that decides which fluttering one to settle upon
and as the churning turns to solemn stillness again, i inhale the page before me and read:
for ever panting, and for ever young; all breathing human passion far above,
that leaves a heart high-sorrowful and cloyed, a burning forehead, and a parching tongue.

at mid-day's solemn stillness, the breeze, it finally settled on a storied ode by keats.

do not swallow

2010-10-21T10:16:00.000-07:00

all i can smell
is 16 fluid ounces of hydrogen peroxide
making fun of all the blood

this hour the more you ignore me

2010-09-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

rum & coke in the shower
even at that this hour
czechvar for breakfast
over eggs with brent
of imported timor descent
whiskey shot on the flower
one for every hour
speedway on the setlist
vauxhill and i forget the rest
southern belles on the prowl
in the morning hour
seemingly reckless
leaving all the silly boys breathless
rum & coke in the shower
even at this hour

para lucia con amor

2010-08-23T19:56:00.000-07:00

las palabras son una cosa divertida
la mayor parte del tiempo que pueden ser tan poderoso
pero a veces incluso un escritor debe abstenerse
para algunas cosas no se pueden poner en palabras
incluso los mejores que tenemos a nuestra disposición y
se entregarán la belleza que tenemos ante nosotros

the suburbs

2010-08-23T02:04:00.000-07:00

i like poetry
because there aren't
any rules to it
at least not in these poems anyways
i've never been good at following rules
here, it's just me and rows of keys
and lack of sleep
and fears and dreams
here, its just me struggling
to get through
each and every day
without a wink of sleep
poetry happens within the cracks
while the rest of you lay dormant

i was in the virgin Islands once. i met a girl. we ate lobster, drank piña coladas. at sunset, we made love like sea otters

2010-08-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

what's new?
she asks in italics
nothing really, i say
work. play. repeat.
it's like groundhog day
only i'm no bill murray
and there's less going on here
than in punxsutawney
that and harold ramis
isn't even jewish anymore
it's not even february 2nd
for christ's sake
and there never was a damn andie
just a photocopied piece of paper
that implied her
stuck to a trailer door

late at night

2010-07-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

we could always get so drunk
that we just pass out fully-clothed
side by side on a couch
and meet in the middle
with our foreheads for support

fine print

2010-07-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

she said she needed
somewhere to sleep
sure i said of course
don't even mention it
when i came home that night
my room looked so big
and both her and my bed
were nowhere to be found

bi or be wear

2010-06-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

we glorify ourselves
in our profile pictures
but it is within
our view more photos of
that we really live
unflattering
and mostly out of focus

the social

2010-06-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

she writes to me
that she's been busy
that it's social season there
lots of outings and outfits
and champagne hangovers

i think to myself
that i've not been so busy
that it's baseball season here
lots of innings and infields
and cheaply-achieved hangovers

i picture white gloves on everyone
garsington opera season in oxford
the guards polo club queen's cup final in berkshire
the british jumping derby in sussex
holker garden festival in cumbria

i picture gents wearing monocles
just like the monopoly guy
and i picture all the lavish events
and impeccable table manners
and horse hoof banter

and i smile and think
she's probably the fairest of them all
and that she pulls it off
with wit fired right over their heads
and that she can't really be into all of it

fat posthumous chance

2010-06-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

i keep on
immortalizing you
in poems
that will never be read
by anybody
before or after i'm dead

we both drink from the same tap, so what gives?

2010-06-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

i live with a musical genius
it must be frustrating for him
waiting for everyone else
to wake up and realize it

the good, the bad and the terribly tailored

2010-06-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

i'm almost certain
that most of these
city investors
& business
professionals
have copies of GQ
strewn about
their imported
winsome oak
coffee tables
so why haven't
the majority
of them
bothered to
flip through
even just a
few of the pages?
there is enough
worsted spun
vicuna fabric
sagging and sauntering
on bay street these days
that if you brought in
even just a few good tailors
and their measuring tapes
you'd have enough
trimmed excess
left over to dress
all the slums
in all the cities
in all the world
in peak lapel
double-breasted
power suits

they'd stil have their cars to tell em apart

radical metal

2010-06-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

it's moments
like these
that make me refuse
to get a hair cut
sometimes i forget
just how much
i love the way
some people can make their guitars scream