shout i need somebody

i'm not sure what i hate more
daytime or nighttime
perhaps they're equally insufferable

regret-me-nots

the most sinking feeling
there is to be felt
is looking into your lover's eyes
only to find regret
nothing prepares you for that
it makes you feel cheap
because that look makes you feel
like you've made her feel cheap
when nothing could be further from the truth
it's more vicious
than cruel words
in a screaming match
it cuts you in half
minces you and laughs
looking into your lover's eyes
only to find
all kinds of regret

our objective

i faced that mean old subway
thinking of what you said
the entire way
on both trains
you've given me the courage
to fight my way through this
i'm not so scared of everything
i'd be lying if i didn't admit
to leaving a few more tears
on these beaten keys
but i promise you
that there's nothing
but feel good songs
coming through the speakers
and sunlight from the window
i'll never be able to repay you
for being there for me last night
but i'm sure as hell going to try
every minute that you give
means the world

bedroom confession

i smoke way too many cigarettes
and i don't want to smoke at all anymore
but i'm in pretty deep this time
so i thought i could use some help
my doctor prescribed champix
the pharmacist explained it
i started taking them on thursday
by sunday my world collapsed
i had already been suffering
from unrequited love
i had already been dealing
with post-ativan anxiety
the depression is always there with me
i've learned to cope with it mostly
but sunday my world collapsed
everything bad has been magnified
by a thousand times or more
i can't sleep for more than two hours at a time
last night i had vivid dreams and nightmares
that are still haunting me today
i'll never repeat them to anybody
i can barely see through the tears to write this
i should have been at work an hour ago
i'm sick to my stomach and can't keep anything down
i'm weak from not eating and tired from dreaming
i just read the fine print in the fancy champix packaging
and i'm flushing every last fucking one of them
i'm going to try to work today
and try to smile for friends
which will be only half
as bad as being alone tonight
caught in a strange and terrifying hell
the likes of which i've never known
i'm scared
i'm shaking
i'm terrified

nasolacrimal

the way
you look
at me
makes me
so lonely
think of
the last
leaf
on the
big oak
tree
in autumn
waiting
to fall
to be
with
the others
think of
winter
without
spring
think of
tasting
tears
nightly
think of
a bed
too big
for one
think of
tear ducts
with
nothing
left to
offer
think of
comes around
without
goes around

a fantasy without an ass that you could bounce a quater off of

i'm only good at selling
and nothing much else
i'm so good in fact
that pretty soon
i'll talk the night watchman
of a tall toronto building
into believing
that i belong
that i'm legit
in my best
blue-collared blues
and leather tool belt
with a rooftop access pass
i'll elevator up
to the highest story
that
that high rise
has to offer
a desperate man
i hate heights
they terrify me
but i'd rather soar
than hold up the subway
i used to commute
i hate delays
i know you do too
we'll both be better off
i'll think of you
with the few seconds
i don't have left

i'm sending flowers

because it's a rainy monday
and because it's not valentines day
because you are my sweetheart
and because it's not the same without you