atlas shrugged and spun that globe around (a poem for april) set to atlas sound

i want to map your coordinates
every square inch
just a little bit
give me the most you can possibly give
from another timezone, that is
you spun that globe around and put your eyes to rest
my name is michael, what's yours?
let's get naked and second guess it tomorrow
over coffee perhaps
maybe even pancakes
with a side of new lover pheromones
and please hurry with the bill
we've got provinces to discover
your cheeks are very warm
and red
and i like that
and i have a poem to write
one for april's eyes only
i spun that globe around and my index finger landed on on you
lucky me
get on a plane and kiss me for breakfast
or something like that
lucky us
we spun that globe around and settled on a seedy east coast-kinda-place
the kind where people who already know each other
have never actually met
spin that globe and give me in the flesh
flash.
give me attitude
flash.
give me substance
flash. flash. flash.
give me everything
and give it twice
get on a plane and give me april skies in may
give me the most you can possibly give
from a different timezone
then give it to me again
damn geo locals and lack of airmiles
i'd rather have a facefullofyou
at least a couple of times
spin that globe and give me in the flesh
you better be on the phone with the airplane receptionist
or else

we make great strangers, don't we?

i saw my ex-girlfriend at lee's palace

i saw my ex-girlfriend at lee's palace
it wasn't a pretty sight
not her, of course
me, i mean
she rendered the entire lighting rig irrelevant
of course she did
go and introduce yourself to her new boyfriend
i told myself
be polite and charismatic
and confident
order something sophisticated maybe
you can do this
i told myself
the next thing i remember
is running away
thank god i live across the street
it wasn't a pretty scene
not the band, of course
they were pretty good
me, i mean
fuck me, only a sick god would create an english accent

to be here is a departure for us

i found you in a broken social scene song
we were swallowing words while giving head
three years later, i lost you in the second chorus
i pulled the plug out of the socket
but the damn song refuses to quit
at least the sun is shining
that's something, right?

thirty-three and one third times around

old beaten lp's
filed away in crates
each collect their share of available dust
and i flip their posture forward
to see who rests behind
alternating two fingers
like an insect's antennae sensing something
looking for that big score
tasting the forensically certified fingerprints
of so many of those who tickled their sleeves before me
these records get better with age
i don't mean their sound quality or playability
nor do i mean their ability to fetch a more impressive sum
i'm mostly referring to their smell
from one collector to the next
i just can't get enough of that old beaten lp scent

sea urchins & insatiabilty clauses

lonely flesh vessels
full of arteries and nerves
in search of other ships
to share the barren coast
we hate to be alone
we've read the tales of woe
we've read too many fairly tales
that's why we're so alone
and that's where the issue gets ugly

lonely flesh vessels
full of tendons and organs
in search of other ships
to anchor down with
we hate to be alone
we're partner bound and prone
to trying on other ocean liners
until we we find a fit, we're just another loan
and that's where the issue gets desperate

lonely flesh vessels
full of blood and guts
in search of other ships
to cull the search we lust
we hate to be alone
what's ours is not our own
just when you think you found it, you found out you were wrong
and that's when the issue sinks to the bottom

parting is such

when she says it's over
it never really sinks in
it's been said before
it's just more idle threats
she leaves
then i leave
sometimes we leave together
the sobering cool of morning
has always aligned our paths again
until now
she said she was leaving
and then she left
it never really sinks in
but i haven't seen her since

magazines in a waiting room

for two whole years
the hearing in my left ear was off.
i tried my best to ignore it
but i'm left-handed
and i made my money on the phone.
for two whole years
i knew something was wrong.
i thought for sure
that a decade of my amp's static crackle
pop radio waves in foreign tongues
had rendered me close to deaf.
"it's like there's a sea shell to my ear,"
i told the doctor.
"all damn day long," i said.
he said he had just the thing.
he called to the nurse for some sort of thingamabob
he spoke mostly doctor that day
they mostly do, don't they?

sun tanning on chippy's

don't forget your keys
the back door locks automatically
wear the gayest shorts you can find
black with white trim, short as fuck

that sun is blistering
grab your things
those thighs are blinding
cell phone: check
bottled water: check
cigarettes: check

climb the rickety, paint-chipped metal staircase
with your yellow bucketful of belongings
lighter: check
journal: check
spf-not-the-fuck-enough tanning oil: check

climb the ladder to to the top tier
get as close to heaven as possible
rooftop patio now open for summer
oh yeah, remember the adjacent rooftop is full of people
fight the urge to run away

fan your towel out
and let the breeze decide where you will settle
pen: check
spf-not-nearly-the-fuck-enough tanning oil: check
coke machine glow by gordon downie: check
yes, that gord downie
check

rooftop patio now open for for all kinds of consumption
convince yourself that pauper's patrons across the way
are all laughing at you
assume they are saying,
"ew, he's deformed and out on display."
smile back at them
they can't see your vulnerability behind the cheap shades
purchased at h&m with money you didn't have
and will never get back again

rooftop patio now open for flesh sightseers with ceasars
embarrassment: check
anxiety: check
spf-product-enhances-deformity tanning oil: check

spot the girl in the window
hope she has a fetish
wish she's going to tell friends,
"i saw the hottest, deformed guy today across the way"
imagination: check
thinkagain: check
spf-you've had-enough-of-this-shit tanning oil: sigh

don't forget your keys
the back door locks automatically
rooftop patio now open for regrets
check, please

failure veils

there are those of us who fail
and almost instinctively
hide behind a veil.
then again,
there are those of us who stopped trying years ago.
i'm not sure which group to attach
"ignorance is bliss," to.

perpendicular go the cutworms and the telecasters

the setting is a playground
the sun is a'setting
two children teeter on a seesaw
one goes up
one comes down
when we were kids
we called it a teeter-totter
one comes down
one goes up
it seemed more balanced back then
she saw, he saw
seesaw
i'm still on a teeter-totter of some sort
i think that maybe we all are
only now i go higher than most
and coming down still gives me butterflies
but now those butterflies, they have big scary teeth
and it's not nearly as fun
and there's no one to occupy the other side
most of the time

lover lost her head

lover lost her head
they found it in his bed
lover lost her menace
they searched for it in venice
lover lost her name
they shouted it in vain
lover lost her touch
they'd never searched so much
lover lost her will
they found it on the hill
lover lost her singing voice
they said it was a sullen noise
lover lost her way
they found it back in may
lover lost her nerve
they blamed it on the verve
lover lost her symphony
all that's left is timpani
lover lost her toes
they found them lined in rows
lover lost her lover
he never will recover
lover lost her hun
'cause her lover's on the run!

belles and whistles

i smile
i try
not really
i lie
these are the smiles we wear in reverse
i drink
i black
i fuck
i forget
these are the limbs that we wear on loan
i loathe
i haste
i cut
i paste
i try to remember anything
god, anything at all
these are the lessons i never ever seem to learn

we will never swallow london whole

dear ian kevin,
the lights on the stages
that i stood on
but never really graced
never commanded
that my arms flail about
but the sorrow in my own heart
certainly
made me
flop

i've found my own ways to convulse

be it to the maddened rhythm
hook
line
and
sink
her
it tore us to pieces
didn't it?

dreary and dire
and poetic
are the mishaps
and the shapes that are born of buzz saw strobes
danced and outmaneuvered
mysteried
and admired
we'll never swallow london whole

it tore us to shreds
didn't it?

warsaw colour wheel
post-rock
rolandic trauma
and the shapes that are born of buzz saw strobes

we'll never walk on that water now
it tore us a new one
didn't it?

i've found my own charming ligatures

and so
another new man fades

this and that

my hands are warped
and i am down on my luck again
i dreamed of you, see
you were so far
i let go
i tried to hold on
really, i did
until the sun took you

took you further
until you were the size of a tack
floating out there in space
and music filled your ribs
and you called out
but i got distracted
and you wrote something on your hand and held it high for me to see

my teeth spilled all over the walk
i think you may have laughed
and you sounded all these god awful alarms
that rang from every crack
and poured from every pore
and fell from all the feel

what did you write to me
on that itty bitty hand of yours

screw you

watch where you step

three ants got separated
from the group
they circle and lose file
tall blades tickle my face
so much movement
down here
an entire world
beneath
they pause to let the drunken beetle pass
i wonder
if i scream at such close proximity
will I render them deaf
do ants even have ears
three ants hustle back into sequence
now it’s just me and the beetle
i think i’ll pour him another

now that you're gone

i’m walking on sunshine

from this dark place

four thousand miles from

bags packed shoes laced

no soldiers no lover’s arms

just my empty case

and i’ve carried the weight of worlds

but never been no place

and it’s okay to wanna to cry

tell her that you’re gonna try

waking up with her beside

remember what that feels like?

your distance likes it far

it blows my mind

remembering montreal

what time is your flight?

i heard you are having fun

not me not tonight

but i promise a better life

if you can find the time?

and it’s okay to want to cry

tell her that you’re gonna try

waking up with her beside

remember what that feels like?

i travel through neighborhoods

you jump continents

we’ll meet in the middle dear

well now that depends

I check the mail slot

for letters never sent

now it’s you that’s slipping from

maybe it’s just not meant

and it’s okay to wanna cry

tell her that you’re gonna try

waking up with her beside

remember what that feels like?

broken down and used all up

keeping on with just a shrug

trading pills for human touch

remember what that feels like?

remember what that feels like?

remember what that feels like

well...check the list again dude!

when i am at the pearly gates
i dream of peter
slouch and wait
he towers above
and deals in fate
the cards they fall
at heaven’s gate
when I am at the pearly gates
i dream of peter
passing grades
security guard
or lowly saint?
when I recall,
i’ve sinned in ways
that would shame the devil
in his darkest days
declining stocks
admission rates
row on row
wear dreary face
turnstiles roll
commuter delays
when i am at the pearly gates
i’ll hop the fence and shield my face

climbing through windows

if ever there was a place that was truly ours
it was high above the floor
and wrapped in augusta walls
we, the insatiable
we, sleep deprived
we, the rehearsal
for the rest of our lives
the door was ajar
it never did fully close
but we didn’t mind much
we had noise to expose
and the boys, they giggled
and the girls, they blushed
we wrote on the ceiling
both foreign in touch
we delivered the signals
elongated lust
we sought the delay
of carnal unclutch
our words were stimulants
our tongues, then sedatives
our skin it crawled
our minds, they melted
sit around and clean their face with it
keep streets from the bedding
her only insistence
was shed all outside threading
a strange looking bloak from wellingborough
stood and stared
school on the morrow
he folds 'cause he cares
up the ladder and down the rabbit hole
we forgot it in people

something moving

she sat on my bed and whispered
i couldn't hear her for the fan
i’d bet it was something moving
i never bothered to beg her pardon

her coattails revealed the street
i didn’t want them to touch my bed
i asked, “can i kindly remove your coat?”
she said she never did

face bill upwards

cycles roar
soap suds
people go about their washing
all in my new laundromat

the chairs are old
the walls are dull
some classical music
plays from somewhere
all in my new laundromat

the change machine is always grumpy
all in my new laundromat

a bee firebombs through the open door
the crazy lady pours in way too much
i read a few poems by bukowski
and then i write my own
they’re not nearly as good
but they’re all i’ve got
all in my new laundromat

the air is cool and its taste is fresh
my coffee is strong but it’s good
and i drink it all
all in my new laundromat

suddenly i realize
we are all strangers in a room
accompanied by every pair of underwear we’ve got
i like the look of my new ones
all in my new laundromat

i smoke a cigarette
i think of a former lover
i listen to morrissey’s lost
all in my new laundromat

a pretty girl
asks if she can
borrow a quarter
“borrow?” i question
she says, “yes.”
“it’s more fun that way,” she tells me
all in my new laundromat

Her hair is brown
and cut very short
she drops her panties into
the open-mouth abyss
i imagine fucking her right there on the washer
making a mess
while the one below her is erased
all in my new laundromat

i am more alive when my jeans tumble dry

i fold my clothes and
think of a former lover
i say goodbye
to the pretty girl
she says, “same time next monday?”
“sure,” i say

all in our new laundromat

lover's arms

i found her in the tub
her head in her lap
her arms wrapped around her knees
beautiful ball of sorrow
I noticed inches of cool water
and wondered if it was a collection
of her tears
she’d been there for quite a while
she shivered and sank lower
my heart hit tiles below
I tried to comfort her
“baby, it’s ok. come here.”
she shook her head and made herself smaller
beautiful ball of sorrow
i could smell her tears
i got to my knees
and sprang my love upon her
my arms wrapped around her arms wrapped around her knees
wrapped up in each other
i could taste her tears
"baby, it’s ok. come here,”
i would say
“show me your pretty face.”
she pressed her face even deeper
into her knees
that were wrapped in her arms that were wrapped within my own
“baby, i love you,”
i would say
“please show me your pretty face.”
then her sobbing faded and
she began coming back to me
slow and reluctant
beautiful ball of sorrow
first eyes then nose and finally
her mouth
revealed
eyeliner had bled and made rivers of her cheeks
my heart exploded on tiles
it was the most beautiful i had ever seen her
i whispered, “i love you,”
and she whispered it back
she wrapped her arms around my arms wrapped around her
wrapped up in each other
eyeliner rivers down her thighs

i can’t hurt her anymore