had she kept her last name...

i'd have forever
substituted johanna lankin
for johanna lackin' mcbain

(a poem for eric and johanna)

the good girls giveth and the good girls taketh away

you bought me a potted orchid
for my birthday
but despite my best efforts
it's dying before my very eyes
while i strum away
on my trusty martin guitar
which was a christmas gift
from another lover no less
in a different lifetime
such a fine unfinished instrument
susceptible to humidity
shrinking and cracking
just like the two of us
while the petals fall
onto the floorboards
and the fretboard
pretty soon
i suppose
i'll be all
that i have left
i guess i'll be next
to finally fall apart

stuck

where does one turn to
when one is homesick
in one's own home?

seriously?

what'd i ever do to you?

february hates my guts
she always has
every february
there's a sign on my back
that reads - kick me
especially in a leap year
when she gets one more day
to relentlessly taunt me
you suck, february
what'd i ever do to you?

cartoon encounter

i wish that god
would take his massive arms
and simultaneously
pluck us out of our separate beds
smashing us together with king kong reverence
so that we land in a crumpled mess
in a cloud of disturbed dust
somewhere in between
our respective starting places
like we were characters
in an old warner brothers cartoon
i wish he'd shake his finger at us
and say, there...that's better
there's nothing more unsightly, my children
than ungrateful lovers
now kiss and make-up already
you sillyheads

carefree, arizona

let's start to ache
we'll settle on a far off place
neither of us
are exactly sure how to get there
but we don't mind
we've always found something majestic
when it's just us
lost as fuck
making light of the darkest days
i can get through all of it
with you in my holster
let's stop to rest awhile
beside that big old cactus
aching in each others' mouths

remembering

it was so very sweet
the way you would wake me
with kisses & morning tea
i'd always go back to sleep
long enough to dream
about swaying trees
weekday mornings
just aren't the same
without morning kisses & tea
i miss your sheets

warm bass lines

my ears perk up
and my heart warms some
all these wonderful songs
how do they write them?
it's enough to make me fall apart
and start all over again
all these wonderful songs
i don't know what i'd do without them

threw me for a lupul

the maple leafs started losing
around the same time that you left me
i'm just saying, sweetie
maybe it's time you took one for the team

brunello di montalicino

today was a good day for poetry
i sure hope it had nothing to do
with the sixty dollar bottle
of vintage red wine
that i consumed
by myself tonight
that could set a costly precident
don't get any ideas
book sales aren't through the roof
it was a birthday present
of grapes stomped in a far off place
montalacino, italy to be precise
back in two-thousand and six
only i would drink it
with less than two dollars
in my pocket
shy of a special occasion
how's that for for poetic?

how many people screamed or bled in your office today?

emergency rooms
fuck me....
you couldn't write that shit if you tried
doctors and nurses
should be reimbursed for every last penny
that they put into being schooled
not to mention a sizable raise
and maybe even a real fucking uniform
for christ's sake

eleocharis dulcis with a side of reverb

i miss you too
let's trade
water chestnut recipes
and warm fuzzy chords
someday soon

the pains of being pure at recording

i can't seem to record vocals
without getting extremely animated
i need to move my body
in an almost sexual way
to really pour the words out
to push my voice into something bigger
i'm not sure if it's more embarrassing
for my dear friend, michael
who does all the engineering
or me, who does all the energetic gyrating?
needless to say
we put a lot of emphasis on first takes

honest mistakes

when i was still young enough
to attend a secondary school
i had a part-time job
down the street from my home
pumping gasoline into automobiles
at some russian-owned discount bar
whose name escapes me at the moment
i managed to get a few friends hired
which made it that much more tolerable
we'd smoke pot and play hacky sack in between cars
one day a disheveled trucker pulled in
he told me to fill 'er up with diesel fuel
trucks like that have big honking metal gas caps
not the little dinky plastic-types you see in cars
it takes several counterclockwise motions to open 'em
i did what was asked of me while he smoked a cigarette
as i was making clockwise motions to seal the deal
he yelled out, hey idiot - which tank did you fill?
what do you mean? i asked
that's the hydraulic fuel tank, you fucking moron! that's going to cost thousands of dollars to fix, my boss is going to kill me
to this day, i'm not sure if the tank was smoking
or if the driver was actually fuming at the ears
that sucks, dude. sorry - honest mistake, was all i could manage
and there i was, thinking that i'd already
heard all the swear words that there was to hear

seahorses we aren't

since that fateful night
when i first walked you home
this is the longest we've gone
without talking to each other
from my biased perspective
it certainly doesn't
feel like an accomplishment
i kinda miss you, kristen

pins and needles (song lyrics)

Am Dm G C E

(first verse)

haunting darling
love of mine
show your face again
pretty stranger
blow my mind
taste these lips of sin
lonely sinner
pass the time
wear my face again
haunting lover
no longer mine
show your teeth again

(pre-chorus)

and there is a place that we haven't looked inside
and there is a chance that has never seen the light (of day)

(chorus)

pins and needles
cracked sunrise
we look to the heavens
while we fall from the skies
pounding pavement
broken smiles
we kiss for the last time
but we love our whole lives

(second verse)

hurting angel
close your eyes
wipe those tears away
pretty creature
open your mind
let my kisses last
lonely lover
we'll be fine
wear my scars again
haunting darling
love of mine
show your face again

(pre-chorus)

and there is a place that we haven't looked inside
and there is a chance that has never seen the light (of day)

(chorus)

pins and needles
cracked sunrise
we look to the heavens
while we fall from the skies
pounding pavement
broken smiles
we kiss for the last time
but we love our whole lives

(bridge)

love our whole lives
love our whole...
don't we, dear?

fall from the skies
fall from the...
don't we, dear?

love our whole lives
love our whole....
don't we, dear?

love our whole lives
love our whole lives
don't we, dear?

fall from the skies
fall from the skies
don't we, dear?

love our whole lives
love our whole lives
don't we, dear?


(not that it would have anyways, but clocking in at 7 minutes long; this sucker will never see radio waves)

how naked is naked?

how naked is naked? said i
there's only one kind, said you
we completely disagree, said i
but nude is nude! said you
not nearly true, said i
do tell, said you
care to see for yourself? said i
double-dare you to! said you
not sure you're nearly ready, said i
sounds like a cop-out, said you
calling my bluff? said i
in the buff! said you
very clever, said i
which stage of naked is this? said you
the most basic kind, said i
parlez-vous français? said you
pardon my french, but you're practically dressed! said i
oh no you didn't! said you
care to reveal the rest? said i
now you've really lost me, said you
ready to lose even more? said i
ready as i'll ever be, said you
close your eyes, said i
closed them tight, said you
clear your mind entirely, said i
shouldn't be too hard, said you
cheeky, said i
well thanks for noticing! said you
i'm just getting started, said i

OHHHHHHH!!! said you
don't mention it, thought i

cat must have got your tongue after that

let's be parentheses

if you're looking for syntax?
then turn back

if you're hung-up on logic?
then you've got another thing coming

-my love

i'd trade all the work experience in the world
for the right kind of kisses
-aplenty

i'd give up grammar all together
for one (long) lick along your spine

let's make a fort
and never ever
come out

let's be parentheses

see you tomorrow

please
for the love of god
tell me that this is rock bottom
because i can't pretend to exist like this
for even one more day
all my cards are on the table
i call
despite knowing
that i've already lost
that this is everything i have left
and i look forward to losing
everything
when i wake up with nothing
i'll sigh
and know that i'm starting
all over again

losing it all
is all i have left

it's never felt so good to lose

tomorrow
it'll all be different

i won't bother to pick up any pieces

tomorrow

it's just me and the mirror
my eyes
will be honest for a change

to not send you roses

i liked the idea of the delivery man
finding you at your new desk
it warmed my heart to imagine your smile
when you realized that the flowers were for you
i liked the idea of new coworker envy
but in keeping my word
to fall off the face of the earth
i think i paid more in cancellation fees
to not send you roses

i miss chippy's

there are so many people
outside my front door
right now at 2:23am
whoever opened that poutinerie
is making a fucking killing
from my lack of sleep
good on them

leave your own salty solution signature on this page someday

unless you are reading this
at the very precise moment
that someone you love
has turned their back on you
don't even bother
just dog ear the page
and place it back on the shelf
amongst more deserving writer neighbours
but come back to it someday
when the pain has reached your fingertips
to the point that you can't even
find the courage to turn the page
then you might be ready to stare at it
because nothing in the world
is as real as a broken heart
and we all know it

radio silence

i think what i miss the most
is the incessant communication
all of the good mornings
the how's your day goings
all the i have something to tell yous
the i have a big surprise for yous
all the guess whats
the where are yous
all the what are you up tos
the i miss yous
all the i'm here for you, sweeties
the i can't believe it's still winters
all the goodnights
the i love yous

without it
i could die in my room tonight
and nobody would know
until my roommates
became bothered by the smell
when you would have known
in just a matter of minutes
we were that committed
to our version
of tin telephone cans
god, i miss it

mush

alaska is the only state
that can be typed
on one row of keys

if new york city
had the same
population density
as alaska
only sixteen people
would be living in manhattan

the state of rhode island
could fit into alaska
425 times

they actually have a law
that forbids the act of
tying pet dogs
to the roof
of their cars

oh, alaska
please say aint so

when it rains, it pokes holes in me with knives

when it rains
it really does pour
i spent the night with friends
of the very highest calibre
they know that i'm down and out
and they do everything they can
to put a smile on my face
god bless their hearts
i woke up in their guest bedroom
to the smell of fresh coffee
and requests for swiss chalet
hangover remedies to be delivered
we watched a comedy together
and even i managed to laugh some
god bless their massive hearts
always weary to not overstay my welcome
i thanked them and headed to the subway
when i reached my apartment
and put the key in the lock
a profound sadness came over me
i felt overwhelmingly alone
none of my roommates were home
but the backdoor was wide open
there was snow covering the kitchen floor
the house was so cold that i could see my breath
the kitchen faucet had an icicle hanging from it
i wrapped a blanket around my body
and sat down on my bed to read my email
the girl that i love more than life itself
had written to tell me that she didn't want to hear from me
i cried until there were icicles beneath my eyes
now i'm just laying on my bed and waiting
and willing the roof to cave in on me
but i know it'll most likely just spring a leak

damara

staring down another blank page
in a notebook that's seen better months
i'm in one of the better decorated bars
this side of the lit up city
the food coming from the kitchen
looks and smells so very wonderful
but i've simply no stomach for it
the art on the walls is always vibrant
and never overstays its welcome
so there's always something new
to look at between paragraphs
in this ladies and gentlemen's club
that caters to happy-go-lucky insomniacs
i know one of the bartenders some
she's the only work of art
that ever stays put
i'm thankful of that

erase me already

please know that i am trying
to get you out of my thoughts
but it is proving to be be impossible
i'm trying to respect your wishes
but i'm bound to slip up from time to time
i can't explain how bad this is for me
my body literally aches for you
waking up alone, waking up without you
is a terrible way to start the day
then i spend the rest of the it
talking myself out of
all the wonderful and creative ways
i'm coming up with to try to get you back
i hope you never have to experience this, sweetie
it has me thinking a lot about the concepts
explored in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
i'm in a lose/lose situation
i know i need to respect your wishes
and fall off the face of the earth
but at the same time
it's so completely unnatural
to not chase after your dreams
it all feels so very wrong

a sheer thing

we were bored
out of our minds
once upon a time
luckily for us
some of the most
beautiful moments
are born out of boredom
i prompted you to your feet
and removed all of your clothing
you were giggling
and asking me what i was doing
i said, never you mind
that it was a surprise
you giggled some more
and said that you were cold
i said, not to worry
that i had a plan to dress you
laughing at my peculiarity
you said, but you just undressed me
i said, i know, silly
so that i can dress you in a different outfit
you sighed and played along
for my benefit
i said, excuse me for a moment
and retreated to the kitchen
i came back with saran wrap in hand
you giggled and said nothing
i said, don't move a muscle
i started high on your thighs
you giggled when the plastic touched your skin
and said, what do you think you're doing, mister?
i smiled and said, shhh, i'm working
i circled you ten times
you giggled with each pass
i stopped just above your nipples
gently, i used the razored edge
to separate you from the box
i stood back and said, tada!
now that's a sight for sore eyes
i dressed you in a most decadent
translucent cocktail dress
we giggled in unison
and together
we looked forward
to getting you out of it