the elephant in the room

love is a funny thing
generally, we file it
under two categories
there's the "i love tammy,
we've been best friend's for years" love
and then there's the "i'm in love with kelly,
we're getting engaged" kind of love
we've got those two distinctions
sorted out just fine
but then there's that love
that falls somewhere inbetween
like when you are really
close to a girl and love her as a friend
but you're also very attracted to her
and there's some element of romance in the picture
you certainly love her in a different way
than you love your best male friend
but you're not in love with her
to the point that she's the only one for you
no one ever talks about that kind of love
maybe it's because people don't want to admit that it exists
love that transcends the standard categories
is probably bad news for couples
the love that blurs
is the elephant in the room
shhh....

d e l t a

don't ever lease that airplane
does eventually leave the air
drops enough lawsuits to avail
dilapidated engines lead to affordability
doesn't efficiently learn to aviate
did elevators load the artillery?
doesn't ever listen to airtrafficcontrollers
dead ends line the airways
drank enough liquor to aviate
drastic escape leaves travelers awed
drop everything: leave the air!
disastrous engine leak thwarts airplane
does envy lithuania's technological advances
drowned everybody last time around

anna

when you're a bad seed
you typically attract
all kinds of other bad seeds
so that you can feel better
while being bad together
ten bad seeds in a pod
can make for one hellofa friday night
the booze, the drugs, the women
it's all so wonderfully bad

but sometimes
there's that part of you
that wishes you could
come across a little good
something pure
and something untouched
by all the bad that finds you
day in & day out

i finally found that
in a girl named anna
she has the biggest heart
of anybody i know
and i find myself taking
some time off from bad
so that i can take in
all the good that she has to offer

and when the rest of us are alone
on the floor beside an empty bottle
anna will still be surrounded
with the love of her friends and family

here's to hoping that just maybe some of that will rub off on me

frogger

i fight my way
through the shower curtain
stand under the scalded milk
falling from the shower head
scrub away absent-mindedly
half-heartedly towel dry
fight my way into yesterday's clothing
lock the window behind me
slump my shoulders down the stairs
leave through the front door
embrace the grey november day
pack my ears full of interpol
fight my way through the turnstiles
watch the crowds filing into the subway
take a seat beside a pretty girl
turn the volume all the way up
watch all of their mouths move
eye their fingers drumming pda's
miss my stop and curse some
exit at the next station
climb back up into the grey november sky
wait at the stoplight
consider entering the intersection
with my eyes closed tight
unable to hear their honks
and the screech of their tires
imagining impact at the height of the song
i fight my way past the best idea i've had all day

fool's gold

i'm completely screwed
again
and i know it
the realization
of its extent
is just beginning to sink in
like a firecracker to the face
an extravagant show of explosion
sure to dazzle those who slow their cars
to get a better glimpse
of twisted metal
twisting into flesh
i've been down this road before
and i know exactly where it leads
it's a place i can't return to
and yet, just like that
i've arrived
hellbent in a white squall of fire and brimstorm
i let my guard down
and in so many words -
I'M COMPLETELY FUCKING ENAMORED WITH YOU
it's stupid just how much
i've thrown cool
right out the window
after holding onto it for so damn long
with vice grip-like intensity
i'm not sure what to do or say anymore -
i'm inside-out, and all out of sorts
somewhere short of sort of
i worked so hard
to be nearly made of stone
and now i'm flying
a vulnerability & crossbones
flag in my sails
at the total mercy of my mind's longing
and my heart's ability to keep up
there's always fool's gold
in the rainbow's furthest reaches
the gold is real enough alright
that - i'm absolutely sure of
but it's fool's gold within my own enervated grasp
because she is gold
that belongs to someone else
quickly everyone,
please take your seats
slow down your cars
the show is about to begin

racing horses

i fell apart. wind took my itty bitty pieces
scatterbrain illustrations awash in seesaw mud
the violence in her is oh so good by golly
the caves we dwell in all have passe colour schemes
tiny rivets worn and driven into her crown
set your sights on monte cristo motherfuckers
there's people underneath your bloodstained staircase
watch where you step 'cause it's a long way down
we fell apart and fucked our alphabet thoroughbred
rising up in waves. feeling pulled apart. at their mercy
the sung hymns wail with the underground sky train
its heavens pour upon us. relentless. cast iron voice
in mechanical transactions. your tiny hands can't hold it all in
for fear of communist jibber jabber soggy hoboken hogwash
we're wearing sybols of the walking suns
bent augmented decor with dropping eyelids
magnetic orgasms achieved in abandoned but fully operational lighthouses
the violence in her is oh so good by golly
giving up. under canopies. dark with fraying canvas
another lover is beheaded. so. be. it

pearly white noise

i know a girl
who never brushes
her teeth in the bathroom
that's not entirely true
she always starts and finishes there
but inbetween
she ends up back in my bedroom
as though she's determined
not to miss a thing
that i might do or say
i like that about her

new york doll

let's stop all this craziness
just for a minute or so
let the pieces fall into place
like strawberries stacked in abandoned shopping carts
we don't know when we'll see each other again
perhaps we should make this count
oh i don't know, the stars never really align
the random sky makes storybooks out of clouds
i have secrets i'd rather not die with

bodies succumb

(my first attempt at a shakespearean sonnet)

let me stop for a moment to watch you
street light cascades upon your darling face
fevered is the beauty we let shine through
slowing rhythm commands the body's pace
we swell in the softness of sheets beneath
our hands are our trains that converge at last
all but the sound of our tongues upon teeth
slow is the rolling of curves that run past
great butterflies stir in every which way
and blood that's drawn from bitten upper lip
motion explored as we move and we sway
my tongue in your mouth, my hand on your hip
it's all in our eyes as we satiate
bodies succumb to the force we create

bobby pins

seated across from her
on the perfect fall day
we share a prosciutto sandwich
and kindness in comfortable silence
we share our thoughts
and we share each others eyes
as the colours turn and the people pass
sewn together in silk-threaded luminescence
we share each others cherished smiles
swallowed up in gallant orange aloofness
we sit and fondle without so much as a touch
i watch as the foam collects on her upper lip
while the colours turn and the people pass
and we share each other
for as long as we possible can
over cappuccino and cream
behind long drawn sugar shears
as the colours turn and the people pass
and for a moment stretched out like a rubber band
we get lost in each others irises
idle and solemnly content
sharing a moment stretched out like sprawling country miles
the very best part of my day has come and went
as the colours turn and the people pass

false melody

whether right
or wrong
i try to write
from the heart
neither here
nor there
i pour it out
in scribbles
upon pages
to let the
demons out
and the disease
that keeps me
writing these
is calling
after me
to feed
its needs
from the
hand
to the
mouth
and down
to the
heart
i swallow hard
and fall apart
whether right
or wrong
i try to write
from the dark

please check the number and try your call again

i'm in a laundromat
right where all this silliness started
someone has written on the wall -
for a good fuck call rosie
as well as what is presumably
rosie's phone number
i dial it out of curiosity
the number has been disconnected
i guess she got sick of hearing
from all the curious ones
that came before me

ramona

my grandma had a way with words
and an unrivaled ability to detect bullshit
she'd say "michael, if you told that to a dead horse
it'd get up and kick ya"
indeed grandma
indeed

keep out of reach of children

it's getting to be that time again
to pay my doctor a visit
i'm feeling pretty bad, i'll say
he'll crack a joke to lighten the mood
he always does
women, he'll say, they'll do that to a man
i'll give him a half-smile
and shift in my chair some
you feel better in the summer, don't you?
you never come around in the summertime
he'll say from behind my file
i'll shift some more and then i will say
who cares? it's november
i guess we better up the dosage, he'll suggest
i guess
he'll scribble doctor all over the pad
thanks, i'll say, and take care

smooth talker

when i was young
they all said the same thing to me
my teachers, the parents of friends
my aunts, uncles, grandparents
hell, even my own mother and father
they'd say "michael, you could be
the best car salesman this side of detroit"
or "you're going to make a great lawyer some day"
even "have you ever considered a career in politics?"
i was young enough to be flattered
it was only years later that i realized
what they were all really saying
- michael, you are one sly and manipulative
little sonofabitch
and they were right

black sparrow press

i'm on my bed
it's around noon
the coffee is so so
the radio is speaking classical
the high school students
have taken over my front entrance
winter is creeping in
it's cold in my room
i shiver and light a smoke
must be a window open somewhere
i wish i had some slippers
there's a lot of creaking in the halls at this hour
it's an old building and it wears its age in endless ways
i think that the yankees will win the world series tonight

the time we never had

i'm not sure
just how to let you in
i've been burglarized
of a heart that pulsed
and fed the veins within
i'm a traffic light
with its own mind
i'm always stuck on red
i'm a suicide
not caught in time
and i'm a letter never sent
but i want to hold your hand
i want to make sure
that you understand
that i'm falling for you
and i don't know what to do
because i'm terrified
that i'll let you slide
before you're ever mine
because i'll push the clocks
ahead a month
and blame it on the time
that we never had

it was my grandfather

it was my grandfather
who taught me to throw
and to catch
in his backyard
in the summer grass
it was him who taught me
not to close my eyes
as the ball approached
and to squeeze my mitt
when the seems encroached
it was my grandfather
who taught me patience
fishing on the lake
at the cottage
even taught me to enjoy the wait
it was him who taught me
how to drive that boat
how to dock her
tie her up
and keep her safe

the stress of horror

take
me with you
when you go
take my hand
and lead me out
the door
i don't want
to be
alone
not today
not ever
not
anymore
than i want to be a shapeless sight
in the thrill
of the topless night
alone in the throws
and galloping woes
of the brightest star
in a garden with keats
attired
in old-fashioned
clothes
never made the man
take
me
with
you
when you go
i'll be good
i promise
not to annoy
you
anymore than
i normally
do
take me out
breathe me
in
you look deadly
in the green room's
candle lit glow
under unassuming tones
and table manner banter
and heavy-pour drinks
we drank
just us
at a table of three
gone was the stress of horror

what goes around cums around

a hole is an aperture
an aperture is a window
a window is an opportunity
an opportunity is a chance
a chance is a break
a break is a drag
a drag is a puff
a puff is a cloud
a cloud is a curiosity
a curiosity is a killer
a killer is a woman
a woman is a pain
a pain is a window
a window is an aperture
an aperture is a hole

melancholia

i am singing in reverse
up the coast
under twisted tree limbs
encroaching on the roads edge
it's pretty and scary all at once
i sit down to remember her
like the feeling of sand
under my feet

the walrus i was
has washed up on the shore again
feed for the swooping birds
nothing is wasted
my haunted guts wretch
and mingle with the lonely
rusty lawnmower that runs
over my spleen with ease
with cool vengeance

we're tired with dreaming
fed up with stitching us
back together
piece by bloody piece
another bus goes by
without stopping
for our broken feet
a traffic signal refuses to turn
somebody kicks the chair away
they hang in an empty bedroom

the floors are spotless

an unspecified amount of thrusts forward / two steps back

it doesn't matter
how many i get under
it always feels
like i'm getting over someone

famous cuts

beethoven cut the legs off of his piano
to feel the vibrations in the floorboards
van gogh cut his ear off
to demonstrate the mother fuck that is love
john and yoko cut their hair off
to raise money for the poor - 'cause they could
michael hutchence cut off his air supply
to intensify an orgasm
herod cut off the head of john the baptist
to fulfill a woman's one and only wish; on a platter
we all have our reasons
what will yours be?

perforation theory

there are holes in my walls,
my guitars
and holes in my heart.

there are holes in my memory,
my headphones
and holes in my bedspread.

there are holes in my stories,
my socks
and holes in my nipples.

there are holes in my women,
in my sheets
and holes in my theories.

there are holes in my records,
my ozone
and holes in my dreams.

there are holes in my poems,
my past
and holes in my screams

it's all the holes that make us whole,
make us laugh
and it's holes that cut us in half.

fuck me - there are a whole lotta holes
for us to get past.

going through the motions

when a one night stand says to me
i don't normally do this kind of thing
and i reply with - hey, me either
we both know that we're both being
less than truthful
but we always say it anyways
it's just the thing to say
when you're one night standing

it's raining in london

i miss her body in the spring
i miss her freckles in the summer
i miss her outfits in the fall
i miss her mittens in the winter

i miss her crankiness in the mornings
i miss her phone calls in the afternoons
i miss her more in the evenings

it's raining right now in london
but that doesn't bring a smile to my face
i hope for her sake - it lets up

tequila sunrise

i'm the grenadine
the tequila and the orange juice
they mix it up all around me
i just sink to the bottom
alone

poetical correctness

my mother always said to me
that if i couldn't find anything nice to say
then i shouldn't say anything at all
that's why i write all of my thoughts
down on paper

orange glow

(for hal)

the neon beer sign says to me
go to bed you idiot
i shrug it off. ask the pretty
bartender to pour me another
and a shot. one for hal too
these days, the nights bleed into
each other. weeks pass by
before i get up to visit the sun
the people at work make me cringe
the posters on mail boxes and
newspaper boxes and telephone poles
change daily. someone is always
coming to town. the dates fly by
i keep thinking of people i can't have
and dismissing those who are knocking
at my door. no chase: no thrill
pour me another under neon
there's lots to be forgotten
and we're just getting started
fuck everybody

my dear

mi dia comienza cuando tu apareces

ed's daughter

we met at my apartment
it was fall and school had already started
my roommates were away for the weekend
she made me a little nervous at first
i drank to compensate for the nerves
she asked me to go out and play in the rain
it sounded like a bad idea and i told her so
she hounded me and wouldn't let up
so i gave in and off we went to the lake
i was cold and wet and miserable
but at least i had the good sense to bring the beer with us
then she suggested that we go in the lake fully-clothed
i wondered just what the hell i had gotten myself into with this one
but she was breathtaking under the moon and i couldn't resist
we splashed each other and laughed in the waves
we play fought until we were suddenly mid-embrace
then we were very much quiet from that point forward
in each others arms; careening in the surf
it was the kind of moment that romance writers spend their lives aspiring to create
we danced under moonlight until she shivered with blue lips
then we raced back to my apartment
i turned the shower on as hot as we could stand
and we jumped in still fully-attired
we kissed under the running water
it was a good first kiss and then she fainted in my arms
when she came to and alleviated my concern for her well being
i thought to myself: i will never be as cool again the rest of my life as i am in this moment
and i've never looked at the rain the same way since
true story

dig

there's real beauty to be found
in all the ugliness
that's all around us
all the time

pay day at the tap

we're at the tap
yes - again
so what? i'm here with friends
of the 5 star variety
michael and hal
and all the rest of them
the live band is a nice touch
they only do that here once a month
they're playing jets right now
whoo-oo-oo whoo-oo-ooo jets!
i've seen mccartney do it live
the only beatle i've ever seen
he did it a little better
in a slightly bigger venue
but this is a judgement-free zone
michael is dissecting the band's set-up
hal is dissecting the blonde at 6 o'clock
this is kinda like home for me
as sad as it may seem
organic chords
clinking glasses
a tom petty cover
a bartender who knows our names
jack always shows
my current fixation
is messaging me - i'm sorry's
i tell her not to be
this heart was made for tampering
without it: there'd be no poetry