he nursed a hang over and rested on the 7th day

when the good lord
creator of all things
sat down on a dull day
with a good stiff drink

his first task was to make a man
so he slipped into his holy tool belt
and considered the list of materials on hand

he finally settled on wrought iron
for it was as strong as the whiskey
that made him so hot & tired

along the way
he fucked something up
he must have mismeasured
didn't check
and made the final cut

he was left with 187 inches
when he only needed 181
opting not to make a second cut
he said "fuck it" and left a hanging gun

content with his phallic mistake
he moved on to make his man a mate

when god invented woman
he wanted something curvy
he downed another bottle
and got all tipsy-turvey

he piled layers of dirt
and moulded fleshy mounds
with which this girl could flirt
and dazzle all the towns

it wasn't long before he ran into trouble
he wanted four sightly breasts
but he'd been seeing double

not to fret, up his sleeve he had an ace
he covered his creation in the softest human lace

he didn't have enough
with which to upholster
so he shrugged again
and left an empty holster

i'll just say it if it pleases
if it weren't for the bottle
there'd have been no baby jesus

god was not so good a carpenter
but it's allowed me to have fun in the dark with her

and though it was risky
thank the lord for that whiskey

without it
he'd have never let him hang
and sunk her in
not to mention...
not a single clint eastwood western

the end